TOP 10 CHICK REPELLENT ITEMS OF 2008
With changing styles and ideals of social norms, TSF is here to give you the 2008 Updated List of items that have been blacklisted by females world-wide. In an extremely unofficial and nonexistent survey, these were the top 10 items that women are repelled by the most. You might use one of these things on a daily basis - hell - you may be using one of these things right now. The truth hurts and as we know, fashions fade and fads dwindle. Just be happy that you read it here first. Now you know why chicks won’t talk to you or return your phone calls. If you are going to use one of these items, do yourself a favor and use it in the privacy of your own home - or at least if you drive a Prius, say it’s a company car.
THE TOP 10 CHICK
REPELLENT ITEMS OF 2008
JUST ADDED: Top 10 Chick Repellent Items Part 2
10. Homemade Tank-Tops
Going without sleeves is always risky. First of all, if you are going to go sleeveless, TSF recommends having toned arms - otherwise you probably can’t get away with it. But, the worst is when people cut the sleeves off of their own shirts and create homemade tank-tops. It’s even worse when said shirts are worn in public. Leave your ego at the door. Dudes should always be wearing sleeves in a public place.
9. ‘Miniature’ Dogs
It’s a known fact that one of the best ways to pick up chicks is walking a dog in the park - but for the sake of your sex life - your dog’s breed shouldn’t begin with the word “Miniature” - for the same reason that girls don’t like ultra skinny or weak guys. You don’t have to have a damn Great Dane, but my god man your dog is killing it for you.
8. Harry Potter Books
Harry Potter is not cool. It never was cool. If you’re going to read Harry Potter and you can’t resist the urge, the only place a hot chick should see you holding this book is when you are purchasing it at the counter of your local bookstore. It should then be immediately sheathed and read in the privacy of your bedroom.
7. Jewelry
This entry may offend people, but let me clarify with some exceptions.
Exceptions A) Religious jewelry, B) Super Bowl/National Championship Ring, C) Watch
The gold chain has got to go. Wearing unnecessary jewelry is almost as bad as dudes with lower back tattoos. No one cares that you went to Hawaii for a week and you got a seashell necklace.
6. The Neck Pillow
You know why you can’t get chicks on airplanes? Because you act like you’re at a goddamn day spa with your Neck Pillow, Noise Canceling headphones, and most likely some sort of $100 goose hair infused down blanket from Restoration Hardware. Bring a pillow like a real man.
5. Tofu
Specifically meat tofu. Here’s all you need to know about Tofu: you don’t know anything about Tofu. If a girl asks you, “Have you ever had Tofu?”, the only correct response would be “What’s tofu?” or “No, and I don’t plan to…” Nothing kills a woman’s sex drive more than a man ordering water and a tofu burger. We’re higher on the food chain. Eat a damn burger.
4. A Toyota Prius
Hybrid will be cool, but not for a while. I don’t really look down on dudes in Priuses, but I do have serious doubt that they can pick up chicks in a car like that. But, on a related note, driving a huge ass truck with a 10 inch lift is arguably more repellent. It goes both ways.
3. Rollerblades/Roller skates
3a. Biking/Rollerblading/Rollerskating Helmets
Nothing turns a chick on more than seeing you rolling down the street on your roller blades. Basically, anything you do, look at yourself in the mirror before you do it/wear it. Do you honestly think that chicks would melt at the sight of you strolling through the park with your badass roller blades and an iPod shuffle clipped to your sleeve? … It’s a rhetorical question - but the answer is hell no.
2. Bluetooth Headsets
The only exception to this rule is when you are in your car in states that require hands free phones by law. If you are walking around with a Bluetooth headset on, I hope you are married and your wife loves you. Otherwise, the other side of your bed is going to be barren for a long long time.
1. Crocs
Ah, my favorite. The ugliest piece of clothing ever created. There is no excuse for wearing Crocs. Crocs are so fugly that it can cause the people you’re with to not get chicks. You are literally a disease to the people around you while wearing these in public. Reminds me of the facebook group, “I don’t care how comfortable Crocs are, you look like a dumbass.” Well said.
JUST ADDED: Top 10 Chick Repellent Items Part 2
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[...] Top Ten Chick Repellent Items You Can Buy. Topics: Tailgating Tips Tags: Dead Tree Crew, Green Bay Packers, John Mayer, Mayor of FedEx [...]
Sorry, but the tofu is wrong. Got a date from a hot chick in the supermarket because I had tofu, hummus and apples in my basket.
Andrew - was the date to go try on shoes? I bet your dad tells his friends you died.
hahhahhaahah
Pretty much right on the money, esp. jewelry, miniature dogs, and crocs. If a specific chick is into tofu, rollerblading, or hybrids, that might work for you.
If she’s into Harry Potter, however, she’s probably a “large” girl in a black witch’s costume…
I think a confederate flag should be on the list. On your car, in your house, on a t-shirt.
Remove #3 as Rollerblading has gotten me many many girls. If you can do tricks the girls flock after you. As a replacement how about men who clip cell phones, pagers or ANYTHING to their belts? This is as bad as a fanny pack!!!!!
Rollerblading got you girls? Wow - please send pictures…
WHat “tricks” do ya do sporto?
Here’s your tricks - Half pipe, trick jumps, flips, grinding, riding stairs. And I would never dress like the fool in the picture. No Spandex or helmet, that is the definate anti-chick magnet. He looks like a whimp a** bicyclist!
My wife bought me Crocs and yes they are really comfortable. However, they’ve since disappeared so I think either my wife realized what she did or my rather large chick-magnet dog ate them.
Charlie is right, it’s not the blades, it’s the spandex, the helment, and, in the case of total losers, knee, elbow and wrist pads. When I go out in normal shorts and tee shirt on my rollerblades so I can keep up with my little kids on their razor scooters all the Mom’s on the block stop me to chat.
Of course now that I think about it maybe playing with my kids that’s attracting the Mom’s. The blades were a whole lot cheaper, easier to get and easier to take care of than the kids, though.
If I were to do a list of Chick Attracting items, having a Kid would be number 1.
The hardest part about roller blading is telling your dad that you are gay.
I can’t believe I’m even weighing in on this. Rollerblades? Who the hell wears rollerblades? Is this even an issue that needs to be addressed? On a list of chick magnet items, rollerblades rank right below genital warts. I mean seriously, I was under the impression that everyone over the age of 12 knew this.
Does This guy ^ need to be explained the definition of repellent? I’m confused.
I remember when I thought rollerblading was cool…then I turned eight.
I agree with you on about half of it…Miniature Dog–check. Crocs–triple check. But a neck pillow? Who cares! Yeah much cooler/sexier to have a crimped-ass neck with drool streaming down your contorted face. Bluetooth headset? Are you serious? Tofu? If you’re looking for a fat American chick then check. A Prius? If you’re saying that getting good gas mileage isn’t hot then I couldn’t agree with you more. Everyone knows most studs get less than 20mpg. In fact I don’t think anyone gets laid in Europe.
The ‘No one cares that you went to Hawaii for a week and you got a seashell necklace.’ is hilarious though.
What a relief to know my mesh tank top and acid-wash jeans didn’t make the list. Whew!
I think they missed one….how could ANY girl go out with a dude wearing a fanny pack?!?! I just spoke to my girl about it and she was like, “Homemade tank, probably not, but fanny pack, NEVER!” Dude, you have pockets, use them….
If you have a bluetooth headset, you’re automatically a douche.
Plenty of people here in Boston bike as an alternative to driving because driving sucks here so much. Plus you can get around FASTER on a bike. However, you’d be an idiot not to wear a helmet. Do chicks dig idiots?
This is the funniest list I have ever seen. Have you considered sending to Letterman Top Ten?
Corn Hole! Absolute girl repellant! A couple of dudes tossing bean bags at piece of plywood with a hole in it! Douchebaggery!
Great list!! Hilarious!
i think homemade tank tops should be the number one spot. oh my god it is fucking dreadfully irritating whenever i see someone wearing that. funny thing is, chances are that if you see a guy wearing one hes more than likely from brentwood. why are the douchebags of b-town still spawning more douchebags in b-town? also, i almost fell responsible for number nine with my dachshund, but (a) he’s pure-bred and not miniature, and (b) his name is megaman. his name alone should relinquish any doubt one may have of his eligibility. WORD
It doesn’t matter if your dachshund is named “Super Jesus”, if it can fit in a blender you better throw it in one. WORD
3 words…Tapered Leg Jeans. Don’t be that guy
Did someone just end a post that un-ironically included the word ‘dreadfully’ with ‘WORD’?
Get thee to the Playboy Mansion . . STAT! And leave the dog.
On a side note, who at the NFL thought it was a good idea to team up with Crocs? It renders everything after it in those commercials lame. I’m not just going to sit by while you make NFL gear lame. I will recline by and eat Doritos.
[...] Top 10 Most Chick Repellent Items Of 2008. [That's So Fetch] [...]
You know what’s the hardest thing about rollerblading?
Telling your parents that you’re gay.
I’m from the Midwest and I’ve gotta a couple you fellas left off….
Mullets…dear Lord, believe it or not, they’re still “out there.” Put away the Billy Ray Cyrus video and go get a damned haircut. And for goodness sake, don’t leave one of those awful little “rat tails” hanging down your neck, either.
Lot of references to “fat” women in here - but fat dudes aren’t too hot, either. And it doesn’t matter if you’re toned or tubby - please, please bathe. We don’t need you to use Axe shower gel and shit like that - soap and water work wonders. There’s only a few guys who look really good hot, dirty and sweaty, and chances are, you’re not that guy.
Ex-anything. Can’t count the number of dudes I’ve dated who still can’t get over the ex-wife or girlfriend. If you’re done, you’re done. Don’t be calling ‘em and unless it’s a kid emergency (yours), don’t be answering phone calls from them while we’re on a date. Ever.
Toenails. Two words. Trim them. If you have “raptor toes,” it will gross us out faster than anything.
Fingernails? Keep ‘em clean, keep ‘em short. Manicured? You frickin’ pansy. Grime under the nails is only okay if we see you working on a small block engine on your muscle car in your garage. In fact, at that point, you CAN be wearing your own homemade tank top. Just wash your hands, clean your nails and lose the tank top when you come in the house.
Well said about the crocs–I’m part of that facebook group, they’re so damn ugly….
Don’t be insulting Logan’s pukka shell necklace though–he looks great in it, and it is extremely helpful in telling him apart from the other boys on “Veronica Mars” in the early episodes of the show, when you’re getting used to the characters. ….
Crocs are #1 definitely. Indeed fugly.
Here are my opinions on each one, and how, as a girl, I think they are important or, not-so-much
10. Homemade Tanks… I have to say that depends on the guy. They of course MUST be TONED, and preferably TAN. I cannot tell you how many guys I’ve seen walking around wearing a muscle shirt, or even NO shirt(WRONG!!!) when they are pale and either have a bird chest and toothpick arms, or pale and FAT. But if you’re hott… take it allll off. It’ll be okay!
9. Miniature Dogs… I, as a girl, have no problems with small dogs. Some guys are secure enough to handle an ego of that size. And there are some occasions where the man can ONLY have a small dog. HOWEVER, DO NOT name your dog after a popular fashion designer! If you do, you will AUTOMATICALLY be labelled as gay. Not that there’s anything wrong with that… unless you’re trying to get a girl.
8. Harry Potter… I am a huge harry potter fan, but I must agree on this. If I walk up to a guy in the park reading harry potter, I will immediately assume that he MUST be in the 6th grade. and if he’s not… welllll… his reading level must be.
7. Jewelry… Again, depends on the guy. Some men look homo with jewelry. The gold chain, looks dumb. The thick crome plated cosstume jewelry looks ghetto. The little bead necklace your daughter gave you… nice thought, but once you’re out of her sight, take it off. Girls will immediately look at you and think you’re either taken, or 12. However, I personally think that the shell necklaces, and various other ones are absolutely hottttttt on SOME men. My boyfriend wears a necklace and he looks amazing with it. If you find one that matches your character, wear it. Girls can know a little bit about you before they meet you.
6. Neck Pillow… the only reason anyone can deny this one is if they use one… I will say only one word… GAY!!!
5. Tofu… GROSS WRONG AND DONT DO IT!!!!!I don’t want to date a guy that is more worried about his weight than me. Now, don’t take that as I like fat men, I’m not into big guys. But there is no reason to eat tofu unless you are on a huge diet, or you’re eating healthfood WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND. If I wanted someone to eat tofu with me, I would call my girlfriends. But me… I gotta have my meat!
4. Prius… I’m a jeep girl, but I have to say, a prius is better than a volkswagon (of any kind) or a station wagon. And it’s definitely better than having no car at all.
3. Skates… I must say I agree with several of the other people, Skates are fine, skateboards are a little juvenile however, and it is definitely all the spandex, knee and elbow pads, and huge bobble-head helmet that is a total turnoff.
2. Bluetooth… SO ANNOYING. I HATE when guys, or people in general are wearing their bluetooth headsets and they’re deep in conversation and they seriously look like they’re talking to themselves. either that or they have a one track mind and pay NO attention to where the heck they’re going.
1. CROCS… Who in the world invented those things? I swear they are the ugliest shoes I have EVER seen. NOBODY, i repeat NOOOOOOOOOBODYYYYYYY can pull those things off. they are awful. and i would take one look at a guy wearing crocs and say “oh my god, he’s wearing those shoes!” and run. Don’t buy them, if you already have bought them, dont wear them. Unless you’re wearing them in your garden… but then, why would men be gardening?
Just my opinions, as a girl. But to me, the MAJOR turnoff, is when I walk up to a guy and he smiles and he has dip all over his teeth. It looks like you’ve been bobbing for apples in a toilet… and I promise you, i will NOT kiss a guy with that crap in his mouth. And if hhe has it in his mouth now, he will have it in there later too… and smoking and drugs are all major turnoffs for me. I want a guy I can depend on and if this guy is smoking, he’s killing his body bit by bit, and I don’t want to get attached to a guy that is committing suicide every day. and with other drugs, they are usually taken for the high effect. The problem is, when you get high, you get stupid, and you become unattractive. And getting high is often a way for cowards to deal with emotion. The only people that think getting high is cool are teens, and other people who get high. But to most of us here in the real world, it is not cool.
Oh yeah, note on the Tofu remark. Eating too much and too fast is just as repulsive as not eating enough. Find a happy medium. Don’t gorge, because it will make the girl sick, or possibly just disgusted, but don’t eat a few bites ot your tofu burger and claim you’re full. It’ll make the girl feel fat… whether she is or not.
Actually, crocs are a godsend to incontinent folks. Easy to wash. Try throwing your chuck taylors in the washer - once.
I live in Phoenix and I actually love rollerblading. I do it on the way to play hoopstas everyday. I look pretty cool doing it too.
I have to disagree with a lot of things on this list. I live in Redondo Beach (CA) (Los Angeles) and I think both rollerblading and Crocs are fine. There is nothing better than cruising around the beaches in blades.
In fact, on Saturdays I blade to the bars - throw my crocs on, and watch college football. I have no problem getting the girls, though I do like them bigger!
Hybrids rock. They are a turn on and I should know I am from Bondi Beach in Australia. Bikini girls hate SUVs
Hmmm.. As a hot chick (or so they tell me), I have to disagree with quite a few items on the list. First of all, tofu is the shiz. A guy who eats it clearly either cares about animals or about living a healthy lifestyle, both of which are awesome and would surely help snag a vegetarian woman such as myself. Same goes for a man with a Prius — better for the environment, an intelligent fiscal decision, as well as being technologically advanced. Biking (or blading, for that matter) is a great way to get around sans pollution, as well as an excellent way of staying fit. And wtfuck, Harry Potter is just plain amazing. I guess not all women require their men to be compassionate, intelligent, and environmentally aware?! Because I sure do!
However, crocs and jewelry are both ridiculous. And those stupid man tanks. I think spray tans should have been on the list.. And skinny jeans; leave them for the women, please.
if he has a blue tooth headseat he must be rich and that just fine with me but i hate it when i think the persons talking to me cause they are looking right at me but no i mustve just had crap on my face
I absolutely refute the bluetooth headset thing. I was rocking that and a suit when I picked up two chicks who thought I looked fucking dapper. Dapper + drinks = threesome. ’nuff said.
I, as a girl, disagree with you on number 10 (homemade tank tops). They can look really hot on some guys. Like this drop-dead sexy guy who has pe the same hour as me, he rocks the homemade tank top. But you need to be at least a little toned and not pale.
Dude, I won’t even speak to someone who wears crocks.
I don’t know what’s going on in the states, or you must be out of your mind, but one thing I know for sure: IN EUROPE….
Chicks dig jewelry, yes; jewelry, so not the gold chains that say 5lb on the scale, but jewelry! Necklaces, hangers, (buff) , (leather/metal) bands, rings, watches, you name it.
Same for the headsets, what in the hell is wrong with that? It’s great for music in class, great for talking in the bus/on the street/at work/school, when you have your hands to work with… No-one I know gives a plain shit about it.
Seriously, find a usefull hobby….. Like let’s say… Rollerskating, might get you to lose some weight, Amerikanski!
About the crocs and prius though: TOUCHÉ
earrings?
Why did they include miniature dogs?
Um, okay? I’m a chick and I’m fine with everything on this list except the Crocs. Crocs are awful.
mehmeh,
i really just dont like you i really dont so just go away please…..please go away
Wearing crocs is the worst fashion faux pax you can do for a dinner date. Come on now, just go there barefoot.
Neck Pillows, CMON?! those are my favorite…
Although I agree with a bunch of these, there are a few items where I really have to ask if you’re on crack.
- Minidogs. As someone whose family had a mini dachshund very much like the adorable miniweenie pictured here for 17 years: fuck you. Minidogs are great.
- Harry Potter. Geeky? Yes. This is not always a bad thing. I’d go home with the guy reading Harry Potter before I’d go home with the guy reading the Fad Workout Book du jour.
- Jewelry. I see nothing wrong with the occasional seashell necklace or some such.
- Tofu. …okay, I’ll maybe give you this one. Depends on how it’s prepared.
But the biggest “fuck you” has to go to the bike helmet item. Sorry, but to my bike-commuting self, there is no bigger turnoff than some idiot zooming around on human-powered transportation who thinks he’s too cool to wear a helmet.
Riding a bike or skating without a helmet is stupid. Stupidity is not sexy. Brains all over the asphalt are even less sexy. WEAR YOUR FUCKING HELMET.
I don’t understand why tofu, neck pillows, and jewellery are on here.
I don’t eat tofu myself but there is nothing wrong with having a little respect for animals. No man needs to eat beef and poultry every day all day.
I can totally sympathize with a guy wearing a neck pillow - hell, I might even ask to borrow it. Don’t knock on people with neck pain unless you’ve had serious neck pain.
A little bit of jewellery never hurt. Shows you have a bit more of an expressive personality than a tee with jeans. Having a fashion sense doesn’t mean you’re gay. A leather bracelet, seashell necklace. No earrings. There is no such thing as a goodlooking man’s earring.
Agreed, with helmets. No idiot over the age of, say, 10 would go out into traffic without a helmet. If they do, they might as well be a dead man riding a bicycle.