That’s So Fetch - A Pop Culture Blog

CRISS ANGEL’S NEW VEGAS SHOW = ATROCIOUS

So I was in Vegas over the weekend and had 3rd row seats for the “soft opening” of magician Criss Angel’s, of A&E network’s Mindfreak, Las Vegas Cirque Du Soleil stage show at the Luxor hotel and casino.  Believe had a lot of hype surrounding it and the soft opening had actually been pushed back a few times for technical difficulties.

I’m going to get straight to the point:  it was terrible.  I love his show, Mindfreak, and I find the guy pretty entertaining - but this show was borderline unbearable.  It was a mockery of the legendary Cirque Du Soleil style.  Cheesy, not believable, and just plain stupid.  The guy is a magician and it had like one or two magic tricks in the entire thing.  There was some other “magic” worked in - such as making birds appear and disappearing acts - but they were absolutely awful.  Towards the end of the show, they bring him out with a microphone and he attempts to sing and dance to his Mindfreak theme song.  It’s laughable and sophomoric.  He looked like a total ass.  The show isn’t set to open for a few weeks and if they don’t get their act together, it will be shut down inside a year.  Others agree.

BRITNEY SPEARS IS STILL TERRIBLE

There really are no words to describe how bad Britney Spears’s new song, “Womanizer”, is.  Just listen for yourself….

SCAR JO IS TAKEN

A tragedy has occurred and it has nothing to do with the stock market.  Scarlett Johansson, of TSF’s “Top 10 Hottest Chicks With Talent” fame, has recently wed Ryan Reynolds a.k.a. Van Wilder.  At least that movie is marginally funny.  He was formerly engaged to Alanis Morissette - talk about an upgrade.  [link]

SONG OF THE WEEK

“Alabama High-Test” by Old Crow Medicine Show
from their new album Tennessee Pusher released Sept. 23

“StreetWars” WATER GUN ASSASSINS

This is one of the coolest stories I’ve come across in recent weeks.  A guy in Manhattan has organized a 250 man game of an assassin based game called “StreetWars”.

from the New York Times [link]:

“…Mr. Deane, a freelance audiovisual technician, was becoming a player to be reckoned with in this year’s StreetWars tournament. With only a few days left, he stood a fighting chance at being the last person standing, the $500 prize in one hand and his dripping gun in the other. But with the pool dwindling, his own would-be killer could not be far.

When StreetWars started on Sept. 7, each of the 250-plus contestants was handed a black envelope marked “Shadow Government,” with the name, home address, workplace, e-mail address, cellphone number and photograph of a player to kill by squirting. After each kill, the shooter acquires the dead rival’s target and begins stalking this new person, all the while looking over a shoulder for whoever is hunting him. It is permissible to shoot in self-defense…”

NERDS OF THE WEEK

But they still don’t know what a vagina looks like…

from Science News [link]:

“…The Great Internet Mersenne Prime Search, or GIMPS, a computing project that uses volunteers’ computers to hunt for primes, found the prime and just confirmed the discovery. It can now claim a $100,000 prize from the Electronic Frontier Foundation for being the first to find a prime number that has more than 10 million digits.

Prime numbers make up the “periodic table” of numbers, the building blocks that combine to form all numbers. A prime number is a whole number divisible only by 1 and itself. Euclid in 300 B.C. proved that there are infinitely many of them (click for his beautifully simple proof). Still, that doesn’t make them easy to find. At the beginning of the number line, the primes seem to be everywhere — 2, 3, 5, 7, 11, 13… — but in the number line’s more distant reaches, prime numbers become elusive…”

FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL & IRONMAN OUT ON DVD TODAY

Both great movies.  Forgetting Sarah Marshall is outstanding and Mila Kunis is unbelievably hot in it.  Go rent it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

VIDEO OF THE WEEK

Sarah Palin in a 1984 Beauty Pageant … jackpot …

 

 

No comments

Facebook was the greatest social networking site ever when it originally launched in 2004.  There was no mini-feed obnoxiously “updating” you with irrelevant information and no high-schoolers or parents.  With the new facebook and an even further step in the wrong direction, it’s still the people that make it sometimes unbearable.  I can’t hate on Facebook too much though - TSF does have a facebook group.  I even have a Facebook profile myself - but I can 100% guarantee I do not constitute one of the people on this list.

Out of the say 500 friends you have on Facebook, you probably care about maybe 50 of them.  Seeing updates every 30 minutes from your first girlfriend in 7th grade is something I know I love logging in to.  It’s funny how much people think we care about their lives.  Why else do you think we enjoy movies so much?  Because the average person’s life is a bore-fest.

10. 1000+ Pictures Self-Tagger

Tagging yourself in a picture is acceptable to a limit.  Use your discretion.  But having 1,000+ pictures of yourself is not only lame, it’s unequivocally narcissistic.  We know your cool with your 2,000+ friends list - we don’t need to be reminded by 1,000+ pictures of you standing in front of your mirror striking poses and eating dinner with your friends.

9. Parents/Teachers

To quote Mean Girls: “seeing a teacher outside of school is like watching a dog walk on its hind legs”.  Getting a friend request from your Geology professor is not only creepy and unsettling, but it’s annoying.

8. Embarrassing Photo Tagger

Respect people’s privacy.  We’ve all been there:  hammered and unaware there’s a camera around.  Don’t act like you haven’t passed out on a toilet naked with a German hooker once or twice.  It’s just common decency to not plaster these images across the internet of your so-called friends.

7. Internet PDA Couple/Kissing Profile Picture

I can’t even begin to express everyone’s disinterest in your love life and seeing you playing tonsil hockey with your lame boyfriend.  But I guess anything is better than your past few profile pictures including a beer bong, short skirt and keg stand, “finger in the mouth seductive look” or a combination of all three.

6. Creepy Guy Who Somehow Figures Out Your Last Name

There should be some sort of friend adding rule.  It’s extremely taboo If I meet you in class and only told you my first name, then I get home to a friend request from you.  This immediately earns you a spot on my “creepy” list because you obviously searched for my last name for hours on my network search.

5. 30-Minute Status Changer

“JANE DOE is walking my dog then meeting the girls for lunch!!!”  No one cares.  Is that difficult for these people to understand?  Your life isn’t interesting and people on the internet have no interest in what you are doing today outside of saving a baby from a burning building or developing a cure for cancer.

4. The “Kissing Face” Girl (a.k.a. “Pucker Face”)
4a. Gang Signs

Every picture you take you pretend as if you are kissing someone.  Why?  I’m not sure.  Is this sexy?  No, it is not.  Maybe you’re self-conscious about your lips not being full enough and you overcompensate for this by puckering up in all of your pictures.  And the gang signs have got to go - you’re a 19-year-old Caucasian female from an all white suburb in a Sorority - trust me, it’s not cool.

3. On-And-Off Relationship Changers

It’s funny when people think that we care if you are still in a relationship.  This goes back to the “your life is boring” theme of this post.  You aren’t famous.  You and your boyfriend aren’t J-LO and whatever marginally talented guy she’s boning.  If you and your boyfriend/girlfriend are on and off, do us a favor and  just leave your relationship status blank.

2. High-Schoolers

You shouldn’t be allowed to have a social networking page until you are 18.  Getting a friend request from your 13-year-old cousin or having your younger sibling on Facebook is just obnoxious.  It’s kinda like walking into a 21 and up bar - we don’t have to worry if the chicks are 18 or not.  Same should go for Facebook.  It’s a win-win.

1. The Philosophical/Political Note Writer
Political Propagator

Politics are annoying enough in person, but some dude from my freshman year English class waxing political is extremely dissatisfying.  Writing a note every 2 days about how Obama or McCain sucks isn’t going to change anyone’s opinion - it’s just going to further solidify your place in life as an arrogant asshole.  This goes the same for the people who create political groups and send invites to everyone on their friends list.  I appreciate the enthusiasm - but leave your political insights at the proverbial internet door.

7 comments

I’m on my way to Vegas and don’t have time to come up with something creative.  I don’t like you people that much.  Anyways, I’ll give you some good links for your Friday work day:

EVERY “THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID” FROM THE OFFICE - EVER

GOOGLE OFFERING MILLIONS FOR YOUR IDEA

(CNN) — Got an idea that could change the world, or at least help a lot of people? Google wants to hear from you — and it will pay as much as $10 million to make your idea a reality.

To help celebrate its 10th birthday, the ambitious Internet giant is launching an initiative to solicit, and bankroll, fresh ideas that it believes could have broad and beneficial impact on people’s lives.

…”These ideas can be big or small, technology-driven or brilliantly simple — but they need to have impact,” Google said in a news release. “We know there are countless brilliant ideas that need funding and support to come to fruition.” [read more at CNN]

DON’T TELL THE RIAA, THEY’D BE PISSED

I don’t want to get too illegal here but I feel like it is my duty to share with you what I have come across:  a bootleg of the new Ben Folds album set to release Tuesday.  I know - it comes out in a few days so it’s not that cool.  This song is incredible.  It’s called “Bitch Went Nutz” … let’s just say Ben doesn’t seem to like his ex-wife.

Just so I don’t feel bad, I am only posting this one song.

[here's the audio - don't click this if you have a soul - ok just click it]

LINDSAY LOHAN = CAPTAIN OBVIOUS

Here at TSF we have a certain place in our heart for Lindsay.  I mean, it should be obvious.  She dons the top of our website in the header.  For the past year or so we’ve been waiting outside of a closet that we knew Lindsay Lohan and her lesbian lover, Samantha Ronson, a Disc Jockey, were “hiding” inside.  They’ve finally jumped out.  I wasn’t surprised either.

I just find it kind of weird that a chick as hot as Lohan goes for not only a girl, but a girl who looks like a 13-year-old boy…[link]

No comments

Look, this list could have gone many ways depending on your age and how you were raised.  I am sure there are a lot of songs I left off the list, but this is a list of not only the best Non-Guitar solos of all time, but some of the best songs of all time, period.  The main criteria was finding solos that fit the song and made the song better.  A solo that captures the essence of the song and would feel empty if removed.

10. The Zombies - “She’s Not There”
Electric Piano | performed by Rod Argent

One of the best songs of the 60s and features one of the greatest electric piano solos of all time.  A very underrated and under appreciated band - and sometimes often overlooked band - from arguably the best decade of music.

9. AC/DC - “It’s A Long Way To The Top (If You Wanna Rock ‘N Roll)”
Bagpipes | performed by Bon Scott.

I hate to say it, but this solo made it not only because it’s amazing - but it’s ironic.  Bagpipes in rock ‘n roll?  Crazy Australians.  Pretty cool if you ask me.  If you’ve never heard this song before and you hear those bagpipes for the first time, it’s impossible not to smile.

8. Lynyrd Skynyrd - “Tuesday’s Gone”
Piano | performed by Billy Powell

One of the best rock songs of all time - no doubt there.  This song also has one of the best piano solos of all time.  Without the piano solo in this song it would feel empty.  It’s perfection.

7. Toto - “Africa”
Keyboard/Synthesizer | performed by David Paich

It’s hard for me to put this song above the piano solo in “Tuesday’s Gone” … but I did it anyways.  This song is just an incredible pop song.  A lot of people like to mock Toto - I embrace Toto.  Don’t even try to sit there and pretentiously scoff at the placing of Toto on a “top solos” list.  The keyboard solo in this song kicks ass and you know it.

6. The Allman Brothers Band - “Jessica”
Electric Piano | performed Chuck Leavell

The quintessential southern rock song.  This song could be played from huge PA speakers on every southern highway in America on repeat and no one would get tired of it.  The electric piano solo does not disappoint and is outstanding.

5. Paul Simon - “Me and Julio Down By The Schoolyard”
Whistling | performed by Paul Simon

It may not be earth shattering, groundbreaking, or thrilling, but the whistle solo in “Me and Julio Down By The Schoolyard” captures the essence of this Paul Simon hit.  It fits perfectly and anyone who knows this song loves to whistle along.

4. The Beatles - “In My Life”
Piano | performed by George Martin

Interesting fact:  This piano solo was played by the Beatles’ audio engineer, George Martin, on piano and then sped up to a faster tempo.  Because it is sped up, it sounds like an electric piano.  This is one of my favorite Beatles songs and the randomness of the solo is awesome.

3. Bruce Springsteen - “Born To Run”
Saxophone | performed by Clarence Clemons

The best saxophone solo of all time.  Hands down.  No questions asked.  Clarence Clemens rocks your face off in this song and leaves you asking for more.  It’s a short solo - but a necessity.  It makes the song for me.

2. Pink Floyd - “Great Gig In The Sky”
Vocals | performed by Clare Torry

The best vocal solo in rock history.  Phenomenal and moving - fits the essence of the song perfectly.  Clare Torry was quoted saying that she was “trying to make her solo sound like an instrument.”  Well, damn good job to you.

1. Billy Joel - “Scenes From An Italian Restaurant”
Piano | performed by Billy Joel, Saxophone | performed by Richie Cannata

THE BEST SONG OF ALL TIME.  Yes, you read that right.  The best song in Popular Music History.  At over 7 minutes long this song is incredible every single second it radiates your ear drums.  Impeccable musicianship and instrumentation.  Perfect in every way possible.  Great solos, too.

Honorable Mention:
The Beatles - “Martha My Dear”

5 comments

Please don’t associate Ronald Jenkees’s appearance with his music.  As the picture would lead you to disbelieve, Ronald Jenkees is a badass in his own right.  When it comes to kick ass instrumental pop music - this dude delivers.  It sounds like the work of a Timbaland and Beethoven love-child who’s obsessed with techno music but knows that techno is for 90 pound, coke-head white dudes in Miami gay bars.

Luckily, Mr. Jenkees understands the value of good instrumentation and it’s obvious he’s in the making girls dance business.  Creating music that makes girls dance is a win-win for everyone.

Every cool bar in America should be playing at least one tune from this guy a night.  It’s one of those albums that you know will go over well with the party crowd.  In fact, next time you have a party, play “The Rocky Song Remixed” or “Derty” - guaranteed enjoyment for all - unless you hang out with people who only listen to independent rock music or scoff at the sound of anything but Soulja Boy or T-Pain, which in that case you need to find new friends.  If you take a girl home this weekend because you played this song at a party, you can thank me later.

At this point you should have your iTunes open and be deciding which Ronald Jenkees song to download.  I’d go with either “Derty” or “Super-Fun“.  But decide for yourself with full track listens at this link.

RONALD JENKEES ROCKIN’ OUT ON YOUTUBE

MALCOM KELLY (YES, THE OU WR) RAPPING OVER JENKEES BEAT

Ignore the “pro football player” comment.  Malcolm Kelly plays for the NCAA sanctioned University of Oklahoma Sooners…

1 comment