TOP 10 TYPES OF GIRLS THAT GUYS SHOULD AVOID
With all of the “Chick Repellent Items“-type lists calling out guys and TSF giving all men a reason to reevaluate their lives, women have been getting off too easily. They’ve been visiting my website and chuckling their little heads off at the mockery I have made of the countless flaws of the male sex.
Well those days are over. It’s time for some change around here. You knew the day would come. Women may have better skin, prettier faces, and breasts - but you aren’t all perfect little angels. Jerry Seinfeld said it best when asked what guys are thinking: “nothing” … which is true in most cases, but we do have the ability, as women do, to weed out and avoid certain types of girls.
Let it be known that this list is 100% limited to girls who you would like to date. There is no shame in hooking up with a girl who has her tongue pierced - but asking her to be your girlfriend would be highly egregious. If one of my good friends started dating a chick who collected stamps or was constantly texting her mother - it would be my job to step in and take control of the situation.
Have you ever wondered why that guy never called you back? Check the list.
That’s So Fetch is known for its fearless and unapologetic lists and this is no exception. I give to you,
THE TOP 10 TYPES OF GIRLS
THAT GUYS SHOULD AVOID
BE SURE TO CHECK OUT TOP 10 TYPES OF GUYS THAT GIRLS SHOULD AVOID.
10. Collects something weird
No, I could not be more disinterested in your stamp or spoon collection. Who in the hell collects stamps or spoons? If you have more than 20 of anything in your room other than some form of media or books, you’re just weird. Your Care Bear collection from 1986 has got to go … in the trashcan.
9. Has more than two cats
If a chick has a cat or two that’s cool - even if she talks to her cat, which is a little weird, we can let it slide. But when you’ve got 4 or 5 cats and you’re bordering on being one of those old cat ladies who wears cat sweaters and can’t leave the house without her Siamese cat lapel pin, you might as well get more comfortable with the thought of a sexless existence.
8. Drank hard liquor in high school
If you’re drinking a bottle of Vodka or Jager and a chick comments on “how much she drank that in high school”, odds are that’s code for getting hammered in some college dudes’ basement at age 16 to drinking games that involved the word “strip”.
7. She’s too familiar with the morning after pill
If she has a favorite brand of morning after pill and she doesn’t have to make a phone call to find out how to acquire them, this should be more than enough reason for you to pull the plug after a couple dates.
6. Too close to her mother
Ah yes, the one that most guys overlook. You know why we overlook it? Because we are simple creatures and noticing a lower back tattoo is too easy - noticing she has an awkwardly close relationship with her mother takes a lot of effort that most guys aren’t willing to expend. Every time you get in a fight she will call her mother for her opinion and you will forever be compared to her mother’s two ex-husbands. It’s like dating two people who spend every waking moment trying to figure out why they hate you. The mother has 2 divorces and 3 broken engagements and she just wants “what’s best for her daughter”…yeah…right.
5. Reads wedding magazines even though she’s single
Weird. Scary. Irrational. Women are allowed to have an obsession with their dream wedding, but planning it when you’re single is extremely laughable. You can just see 23-year-old Mary Sue sitting in her white wicker chair in suburban Tulsa, Oklahoma reading the latest copy of Brides magazine slowly touching the vacant finger where a ring someday will be. It’s sad, really.
4. Doesn’t hesitate to beer bong or do keg stands
College is a time to party but it doesn’t mean you have to leave your dignity at the door. TSF recommends avoiding chicks who feel it necessary to show off their drinking skills by doing keg stands, beer bonging, chugging - all of these qualities make guys want to avoid getting in a serious relationship with you.
3. Had plastic surgery at a young age
Hear me out on this one. If a chick gets her nose done or liposuction at age 19, this means that in the prime of her life she was dissatisfied with her body. Think about that. She’s 19 and already feels the need to permanently alter her body? What is she going to be like at 49? Not only that, but if she’s getting $5,000 operations in high school - just think about what she’s going to want when she’s married to you and can afford more operations.
2. Has a lower back tattoo and/or tongue piercing
The most obvious entry to the list. I’m sorry ladies, but if you have your tongue pierced or a lower back tattoo it’s like 1:1 odds you give it away too easy. It’s the honest truth. And you know what? Everyone thinks that. I mean, if that’s what you’re going for in the first place then more power to you … but the rest of us rational human beings know it as the “tramp stamp”. Welcome to reality!
1. Can’t count her sexual partners on two hands
I was thinking about making this “can’t count her sexual partners on one hand”, but then I realized we all went to college at some point, right? Two hands - that’s the maximum I am allowing. When you start getting into double digits, it’s about time to start slowin’ the train down - coast on into the station and try not to sleep with the conductor.
BE SURE TO CHECK OUT TOP 10 TYPES OF GUYS THAT GIRLS SHOULD AVOID.
7 Comments so far
Leave a reply
1. agreed
2. agreed
3. agreed
4. agreed
5. agreed
6. agreed
7. agreed
8. agreed
9. agreed
10. agreed
we agree, it appears.
TSF said: ‘women have been getting off too easily’
just the ones who go out with me…
#1 should also include women who have had a one night stand with a close friend of yours
[...] That’s So Fetch gives us The Top 10 Types of Girls Guys Should Avoid. [...]
[...] So Fetch had The 10 Types of Girls Guys Should Avoid. Don’t worry ladies, here’s your [...]
Uhmm… #2, I have a tongue ring, but I didn’t give my virginity til I was 18.
This is too good. You need to add: has a negative comment about every other female within a 10 state range, asks you “What do you do?” before asking your name, she is her favorite topic, thinks a strip club visit is a form of cheating, thinks halloweed is dress-like-a-slut-night, her role model is Paris Hilton, and believes MTV’s “The Real World,” is the real thing