TOP 10 FADS THAT NEED TO GO AWAY IN 2009
Mmmm…don’t you just love the smell of bad grammar in the morning?
As we look down the barrel of 2009, we must first look into the past and try to prevent the most annoying fads of previous years from carrying over into the last year of the decade. 2009 will lay the groundwork for the decade of the “10s” and it is essential that we weed out things like neon tights and bluetooth headsets.
Please take this time to look inside yourself and realize that your women’s jeans (for guys) need to go and your lame attempt to pick up younger men needs to cease.
That’s So Fetch gives you:
THE TOP 10 FADS THAT NEED
TO GO AWAY IN 2009
10. OLD PEOPLE ON FACEBOOK
Most of us remember the glory days of Facebook way back in 2004. Only college students and alumni were allowed access and this aspect made Facebook one of the most exclusive and legit social networking websites on the internet. Somewhere around 2006-2007, Facebook started to allow high-schoolers and random people off the street to have accounts. This decision did not lead to the demise of Facebook, but did lead to pissing off its college-aged demographic. Seeing your friend’s weird mom pop up in your mini feed or even the thought of your parents having a Facebook account is the ultimate buzz kill.
If you’re over 40, you shouldn’t have a social networking profile. The truth hurts.
9. HEIDI MONTAG AND SPENCER PRATT
Celebrity is a word that is thrown around by the media and there’s no way in hell that Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, of MTV’s The Hills “fame”, should be considered as celebrities because that would infer that they are in someway important. They faked a wedding in Mexico and have yet to file a marriage certificate, most likely due to the fact that no one gives two shits about these assholes and they wanted something people can talk about. I suppose TSF is a form of media and unfortunately I am talking about them - so I guess they win. Shit.
8. 80s FASHION
Neon. Chicks and dudes alike are currently obsessed with gaudy and bright neon colored clothing from stores like American Apparel. All clothing styles are cyclical, but the neon tights have got to go. Look in the mirror before you leave the house and understand that dressing like a rodeo clown isn’t attractive and never will be. It was a short-lived fad in the 80s and will hopefully completely fade in 2009.
7. CARRYING DOGS IN OVER-SIZED TOTE BAGS
I have never understood the phenomenon of carrying a miniature dog in a purse in public places. I have seen this act perpetrated everywhere from grocery stores and shopping malls, to car washes and restaurants. Surely the dog is happy locked up in a cage over your shoulder with poor ventilation 5 feet off the ground. Is this a fashion statement? Because if it is, using a pet as an accessory is beyond laughable.
6. GROSSLY SKINNY “INDIE” ROCKERS
EAT A GOD DAMN CHEESEBURGER. Being deathly skinny is in no way cool, but showing your rib cage through tight, V-neck t-shirts in women’s jeans has somehow become cool over the last few years. You’re not in a rock band - and even if you are, no one is impressed. You’re going to look at pictures of yourself 10 years from now and want to kick your own ass.
5. ACTRESSES ATTEMPTING MUSIC CAREERS
Seeing Jessica Simpson wear a cowboy hat and boots attempting (and failing) to start a country music career is the auditory equivalent of shaving my testicles with splintered balsa wood. But seeing her “act” is just about as bad. Let’s point out some recent actress-to-singer failures: Scarlett Johansson, Hayden Panettiere, Hilary Duff, and Lindsay Lohan … just to name a few.
4. BLUETOOTH HEADSETS
The awful and revolting bluetooth headset fad has been discussed thoroughly on TSF’s Top 10 Chick Repellent Items of 2008 list. Every single person who sees you wearing this heinous piece of fashion faux pas is laughing hysterically behind your back. You look like a complete jackass. I cannot express this enough. Put your phone to your goddamn ear. Only acceptable while driving… Oh, and take off your Crocs while you’re at it.
3. UGGS
You’ve got to understand that the more popular something is, the more likely people are going to think it’s annoying. The popularity of this disgusting Australian footwear is astonishing. I was at a shopping center the other day and counted 21 pairs of Uggs in just under 90 seconds. I can stand the dark colored Uggs, but the original beige colored ones make you look like a retarded astronaut. And just like Crocs, “I don’t care how comfortable Uggs are, you still look like a dumbass”.
2. COUGARS
I’m sorry ladies, it’s over. The hot older woman thing is going out of style and you’re going to have to revert back to men with mortgages and AARP discounts. You can stop hanging out at college bars and prowling past your 10 pm bedtime, because us twenty-somethings are going to be busy hitting on 19-year-old sorority sisters who don’t carry change or use coupons for milk.
1. PRETENDING TO BE BI-SEXUAL
The number one fad that needs to go away in 2009 is the sudden popularity of using your fake bi-sexuality to enhance a stymied entertainment career. As popularized by Lindsay Lohan and Tila Tequila, this fad has been adopted by hot chicks who are too boring as “average” heterosexuals. VH1’s newest reality show, A Double Shot At Love, features “bi-sexual” twins looking for love. Katy Perry’s “I Kissed A Girl” is also a major contributor to this hopefully brief fad that TSF hopes will die in 2009.
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I completely and whole - heartedly disagree with #2. If you have ever been cougared then you know how awesome it is. Not necessarily while in the process, but afterwards when you’re trying to figure out how the hell that just happened or when you’re laughing about it with your friends.
This post is spot-on…I’d rather see more cougars than listen to Scarlett Johannson’s “music,” however…holy hell
[...] That’s So Fetch has the Top 10 Fads that need to go away in 2009 [...]
I gotta say that anytime I see anything with Heidi and Spencer it makes me want to commit violent acts. What a bunch of no talent attention whores.
And fellas, the skinny pants…give me an F’ing break! You’re a dude! Look like one! If you are wearing my pants and have on more make up than I do, something is seriously wrong.
Most of these need to go especially #7, but I would kinda like it if #1 and #2 stuck around a while longer
chicks pretending to be bi is here to stay i think dude.
chicks was pretendin to bi when i was in high school, a good healthy 10 years ago.
I vote for dumping Gatorade on a winning coach–so outdated!
Also I want stadium security to throw out everyone who starts or participates in a “wave” at any sporting event, especially when the home team is at bat.
The guys wearing chicks pants is right on. I was at a bar and the bouncer said one of the funniest things. The bar didn’t allow shorts much longer than the knees and this guy came up in some of the tightest ‘capris’ that you can imagine. The bouncer told him no shorts that far past the knees. When the guy said they were capris this is what the bouncer said “Go home, take off your sisters pants, put on some real clothes, then you can come back”. Priceless!
Please stop the baggy pants hanging below the ass… How could you miss this on the list? It has gone on a good decade too long! When 15 year old kids in Idaho on roller blades wear them, it can’t really be a fad worthy of continuing can it?
I love your blog. This list is right on.
i am 17 years old and a senior in high school and i agree with everything you say!!!!
but i wish you would have put something about guys pants!!
guys ass’ are not appealing what so ever!!
i was at the mall the other day and a guy got out of his car and his pants fell right off!! (no boxers or whitey tighties) so disgusting
so why do they think its so incredibly hott
have you noticed that all the guys that wear their pants like that have complex’s????
#8 SHOULD NOT BE THERE.
It should be replaced with people dying their hair black and coloring them all these shitty colors, and wearing shitty clothes from Hot Topic.
#1 deserves to be #1.
i love guys in skinny jeans but not when they are skinnier than me! I think number 8 should be taken of tho and exchanged for guys that wear baggy pants that show their boxers and asses. not very attractive.
and for what Liza said, i love black hair, i dye my hair funky colors to make myself stand out, oh and i looooove Hot Topic!!!
*off
Im going to have to disagree with #2. Its been 2 years since I started banging an amazingly hot cougar and its soo much better than the younger stuff. shes more comfortable with her bod, plus shes in better shape than 90% of the girls my age. I lucked out
Long live Cougs!!!