Archive for January, 2009
SCARLETT JOHANSSON IS OFFENSIVE
It pains me to see a Hollywood star make a mockery of one of the best singer/songwriters of my generation. Jeff Buckley is a highly respected recording artist from the early 90s and if he hadn’t drowned in a tributary of the Mississippi river in 1997, he’d sure as hell be one step closer to the grave knowing that Scarlett Johansson butchered his incredible song, “Last Goodbye”, from his 1994 album, Grace. She recorded the song for the soundtrack to the upcoming movie He’s Just Not That Into You.
If you’ve never listened to Jeff Buckley, you are truly missing out. Grace is an earth-shattering and life-changing album that should be heard by the masses. Anyone who starts a rock band should be forced to listen to Grace for hours on end and take whatever influence they can from a sensational piece of music history.
Hearing Scarlett’s music makes me wish I only had four senses. Here’s her version of “Last Goodbye” followed by Jeff Buckley’s original song.
SCAR JO’S VERSION
ORIGINAL JEFF BUCKLEY VERSION
If anyone should be covering songs, it’s Jeff Buckley. His version of Leonard Cohen’s 1984 song, “Halleluja”, is arguably the best cover song of all-time, rivaling that of Jimi Hendrix’s “All Along the Watchtower”. This is one of the best vocal performances in the history of modern music:
Do yourself a favor and go buy Grace.
RAINN WILSON ISN’T FUNNY
Rainn Wilson plays Dwight K. Schrute on the popular television series, The Office, but it has come to my attention that without a script he’s truly unfunny. It pains me to say such things because I am an avid fan of The Office and I find his character to be one of the funniest on television.
Last night, Rainn Wilson was a guest on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno and it was at that point that all credibility was thrown out the window - like Michael Richards without the racism. It’s amazing what a script can do for a reputation - silly me, I was lead to believe that Rainn Wilson was a comedian. But I guess we aren’t supposed to believe that Tom Hanks is gay or that Sean Penn is retarded either.
This clip is painful. Lame joke after worthless babble. Even Leno stops to pretend laugh towards the end when Rainn tries to insult him by saying Jay “isn’t on ABC” … ha ha ha … no.
19:05 - Interview with Rainn Wilson begins; he does some stupid “fear of talkshows” bit
22:40 - Awful satirical imitation of Italians
25:07 - Rainn’s dad proving his unfunny DNA was passed to his son
28:23 - Embarrassing
29:40 - Beginning of awful Xbox Avatar Name bit - watch Jay’s reaction at the end
Just pay attention to Leno during this entire interview - he hates this dude.
JOAQUIN PHOENIX IS A “RAPPER”
Don’t be fooled by Joaquin Phoenix’s lengthy resume of Oscar winning movies and the millions of dollars in his bank account, he’s now a “rapper” - and as evidenced by the video below, he’s living in a van down by the river. In case you aren’t up to speed, Phoenix publicly announced his retirement from motion pictures to pursue a career in music. I personally take sarcasm as an insult. No one wants you and your damn irony, Joaquin Phoenix. Get back on my television.
Rumor has it that this is a clever ruse perpetrated by Phoenix and Ben Affleck’s brother, Casey, as a source reveals that “It’s an art project for him … he’s going full out. He probably has told his reps that he’s quit acting. Joaquin is very smart. This is very conscious. He has a huge degree of control.” Cue the video evidence that proves that last statement inaccurate:
Fall off stage fail:
MOVIE OF THE WEEK (01.27.09) - DOUBT
It’s a shame that Doubt wasn’t awarded for Outstanding Performance - Cast at last night’s SAG awards because this movie was without a doubt (pun intended) the best acting performance of 2008. Although the story was lacking, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Meryl Streep, Amy Adams, and the incredibly moving Viola Davis were all superb. I can’t remember the last time that three people (Adams, Hoffman, Davis) from the same movie were all nominated for best supporting actor/actress Academy Awards. All nominations are deserving and Adams should take home the award.
Not to mention, Amy Adams is one of the most exquisite women on the planet - even dressed as a nun she was visually stunning - one of those people who needs to be famous because they are so naturally attractive. Unfortunately, the screenplay fell short for this play-turned-movie, but an incredible cast made this film a must see of the 2009 Oscar season.
No commentsJESSICA SIMPSON = YOKO ONO
Not only was Jessica Simpson dressed like a hooker circa 1991 this week (this woman somehow has a fashion line in every mall across America - how? I have no idea), she also made some asinine comments regarding her boyfriend’s absence from football:
“My boyfriend is a football player, and he takes up my Sundays and now my Mondays … I am sooo happy!”
The average person would read that comment and think nothing of it, but as an avid football fan it outrages me to hear of a girlfriend’s pleasure that her NFL boyfriend is available on Sundays during the playoffs … and I loathe the Cowboys. She has single-handedly ruined the career of an above average NFL quarterback. He’s throwing the ball to Terrell Owens, Jason Witten, and Roy Williams and still can’t make the playoffs. If that’s not Yoko Ono Syndrome, then what the hell is?
No commentsMR. AMERICA 2009…
Katie Stam from the great state of Indiana won Miss America last night and I heard a rumor that she plays a man on television. That’s actually not true, I lied, but if you check out the full version of the above picture you may better understand that joke. She really should keep her clothes on. She needs to do what most people don’t need to do - exercise less. She’s too fit. Plus, I just can’t respect any pageant hosted by Albert Clifford Slater.
1 commentOLD SCHOOL ALBUM OF THE WEEK
PUFF DADDY & THE FAMILY - NO WAY OUT
Oh how a simpler life. Puff Daddy was still named - well, Puff Daddy - and mainstream rap was still somewhat respectable. Does Mase still exist? This album is one of the most defining albums in the history of hip-hop. A timepiece for 90s urban music. “Can’t Nobody Hold Me Down”, “Been Around The World”, and “Young G’s” were playing from every stereo in 1997 - and rightfully so. Faith Evans and 112 helped make “I’ll Be Missing You” one of the best songs of the 90s. Percentage of people who download this song after reading this: 100.
1 comment
