I WOULD HANG OUT WITH PARIS HILTON
In all seriousness, I would really enjoy spending a platonic evening with Paris Hilton. Tell me with a straight face that you wouldn’t enjoy hanging out with her. If she legitimately called you on your cell phone right now and wanted to meet up with you and your friends to chill, would you say no? Shit no you wouldn’t say no.
Even if I had to sign a contract stating that nothing physical would happen between us outside of casual flirting and light canoodling, I’d hang out with her 7 nights a week. Why is she so fascinating? You clicked this post for a reason: Paris Hilton’s name was in the title. Do you know why you aren’t famous? Because you aren’t interesting at all. You and I lead boring lives and no one else cares. Forget her parents for a minute, Paris Hilton has generated millions from being interesting. She’s a tall, hot blond who uses her fame to her advantage.
You know you’d buy her a drink at whatever dive bar you and your involuntarily celibate friends frequent. Whenever I stay at a Hilton hotel, I can’t help but think that my money will indirectly pay for a few of Paris Hilton’s Appletinis in some posh L.A. bar.
Do people who work for the government ever get pissed that they have to pay taxes, which is basically paying themselves to work? Ok, that’s enough. Here’s a video of Paris Hilton and Snopp Dogg free styling as some form of viral marketing for his new “M”TV show. I put the M in quotes ’cause I can’t remember the last time I saw a fucking music video on “M”TV and it makes me bitter.
This website, Pop Sugar, linked to the video and added the most FUN quiz ever. “Paris Hilton: Future rap star or should stick to pop music?” Then people vote on what they think Paris should do. If this is what blogging has come to, please lead me blindfolded into a cage with a Xanaxed-out chimpanzee who’s pissed he can’t go for a car ride:
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