Archive for March, 2009
“COUNTESS” LUANN LOSES HER TITLE
So there’s this former model chick (who’s actually unattractive, but aren’t most models?) on Real Housewives of New York City who married a Count, and refers to herself as a “countess” just because she’s married to some dude she sees like once a month. I wouldn’t care if she wasn’t so verbal about her stupid ass title that no one in America cares about. Like really, if I met a Prince or King from England I wouldn’t give two shits. But this chick brags that she married into royalty or whatever a Count is. This is America, no one cares.
It’s kind of like people who have a PhD in something other than Medicine, and insist that you prefix their name with “Doctor”. Yeah, your PhD in geography impresses me so much that I’m doing to attach “Dr.” to your surname.
Anyways, the “Countess” and “Count” have now divorced, and LuAnn is officially back to being a simpleton. Housewives fans rejoice as her sense of entitlement was getting stale. Oh, and did I mention she got dumped via email? True story.
THE #1 SONG IN AMERICA? REALLY?
I monitor the iTunes Top 10 on a daily basis, and before about an hour ago, I’d never heard of the new number one song (as of today…), Black Eyed Peas’ “Boom Boom Pow”. If I had a DeLorean, I’d go back to a time before I had heard this awfully auto-tuned, vocoded excuse for music and dig myself into a hole until it went away. I hope this isn’t a preview for the rest of 2009. This is coming from someone who has Miley Cyrus and Flo Rida on their iPod……….
Here’s my challenge to you: listen to this entire song without getting a headache.
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JIM IS CHEATING ON PAM
Pam’s gonna be pissed - John Krasinski is dating the chick from The Devil Wears Prada.
Vicki from Real Housewives of The O.C. is receiving death threats.
People are actually getting Twitter tattoos…
Beer pong in the pool? I’ll take two.
Seinfeld fans must see this: a drawing of 99 references from the show.
PIZZA-MAKING VENDING MACHINE, COOL
I know what I want for Christmas - a vending machine that bakes fresh, from scratch, pizza using infra-red rays, complete with a viewing window and a cook time of 3 minutes. Yes, it exists. This machine literally kneads flour and water into dough, spreads the tomato sauce, cheese, and toppings into a delicious pizza in minutes.
The pizza vending machine has received great reviews in trial regions of Italy.
“This is not just a vending machine, it’s a mini-pizzeria”, says its creator, Claudio Torghele. “It has windows where you can watch the pizza-making process. Kids, including my own, love it: when the machine is working, there’s always a crowd.”
Each pizza offers 4 toppings and costs 5 Euro (around $6). Check out the video below:
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LOVE/HATE WITH PARIS HILTON
I’ve admitted that I would love to hang out with Paris Hilton. No really, I would. Then I’d rub it in your faces by posting pictures of the two of us arm-in-arm, necking in the VIP section of some posh bar on the lower east side.
Luckily, someone made this video that summarizes Paris’s likes and dislikes into a short, 1 minute 40 second clip.
Must see: 1:31 cracks me up…
Someone important must read this blog and know someone who knows Paris Hilton. Tell her to call me - we’ll do lunch with her friends at this great Italian restaurant, where I’ll scald the waitstaff for even mentioning the word Spinach. I’ll pretend to have never met and not know any celebrities while I discuss with her how “everyone should win” on reality television competitions.
No commentsCHUCK & VANESSA? SAY IT AIN’T SO
I want to be Chuck Bass when I grow up, but my high school guidance counselor wasn’t to thrilled to hear that. They also don’t offer it as a major in 
college, and I certainly can’t get a PhD in Upper East Side badassness. I want to start speaking as if every word out of my mouth is of importance and might be the last thing I will ever say.
I’ve got to find a driver first. Driving your own car is so 2006. I want to drive around looking for people I know and speak from behind a slightly cracked, black-tinted window. As I make my earth-shattering comments, I’d give people no time to react to my perfectly timed monologues.
Chuck and Vanessa are now boning, which drives my reality/fictional compass insane, because the two are dating in real life. When they kiss onscreen, are they still “acting”. I mean really, how hard is it to “pretend” to date someone you are actually dating?
Is this Chuck and Vanessa? Or Ed Westwick and Jessica Szohr? Shit.
What about these?
IDK.
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ARCTIC MONKEYS COVER AMY WINEHOUSE
“You Know I’m No Good” Arctic Monkeys style, the best band of the 21st century.
Other Arctic Monkeys posts on TSF:
10 Great 21st Century Rock Songs You Haven’t Heard
Top 15 Albums of the 2000s
