Archive for the 'Bon Jovi' Category
TSF GOOGLE SEARCH PHRASES PART 3
This is part 3 in a series we like to do here at TSF called “Interesting Google Search Phrases”, a piece that highlights the funny phrases and questions people type into the Google search engine that leads them to this website, That’s So Fetch.
[you can see part 1 here]
[you can see part 2 here]
We take pride in our high Google ranking, with phrases like “best rock songs” beating out Rolling Stone.com, and “hottest women” and “hottest chicks” joining the likes of Maxim and AskMen on the first search page.
But every now and then I get some crazy-ass inquiries typed into Google that lead people to this website.
Here are a few for your entertainment. These are 100% real.
[Google search phrase in orange, editor's note below]
“bonjoviblender.com”
I do not sell nor do I intend to sell Bon Jovi Blenders. The thought of Bon Jovi’s face on a Blender is horrifying. Unless it’s a George Forman-type deal, then yeah, maybe I could go for that.
“does lady gaga have asperger’s syndrome?”
Good question. And the more I think about it, maybe she does. Or maybe we’re all just pawns in a social experiment.
“do I need a mask in a subway swine?”
Yes, but not for the Swine Flu. If it was socially acceptable, I would wear a mask at all times on the subway. But not because of some pandemic, but because being packed into a sub car with 50 other New Yorkers sweating my ass off and inhaling B.O. is just as bad as some “disease”.
“sexual dislikes of white women”
They know, but they won’t tell us.
“what percentage of college girls shave?”
Some young buck probably typed this in because he will be attending college for the first time this fall. As an incoming freshman, his first concern is the grooming of his co-eds - and rightfully so.
“caught red handed + girls”
A dude who got caught cheating? Is he worried about the inevitable reprimand from an unsuspecting dame? Hell hath no fury like a woman’s scorn. “Maybe next time he’ll think before he cheats” - tell ‘em Carrie.
“pictures of all the hot girls leonardo da vinci invented”
I don’t think robots existed between the years 1452-1519. I’ll have to double check my knowledge of Italian renaissance men.
But my personal favorites are the ones that ask dating questions, such as:
dating for six years what is next?
A white picket fence, an SUV, and your balls on the mantle?
girl on top what should guy do?
It just saddens me that there is someone out there who needs to type this in Google. 2:1 odds he’s either under the age of 17, or over the age of 35.
how often do girls go for girls with receding hairline?
My expertise just doesn’t extend this far. I would assume the same amount that guys go for girls with receding hairlines? Which would be never.
how to meet college girls in a bar?
Talk to them, jackass.
[you can see part 1 here]
[you can see part 2 here]
Top 10 Most Overplayed Songs At College Parties/College Bars
If you’re like me, you love the smell of mildewed beer in the morning - that smell after a college party with 4 kegs of Natural Light or Milwaukee’s best. The bathroom has a caked over, black layer of filth on the floor and the toilet is clogged from that freshman co-ed’s Mexican food vomit (she needs to learn how to drink, this is a public school damn it).
At any moment in the night you can walk into any college party in America and hear one of these songs being played from the sonically compromised, low-fi stereo and they have separated the left and right speaker, sending one to the living room and the other to the porch. If it’s a frat party, no one cares about destroying the house because subservient pledges will take care of it in the morning.
Whilst you are reading this list, just envision that ego-maniac dressed like he’s in a box at the Kentucky Derby pumping his fist in the air screaming the lyrics to his favorite overplayed song. He hasn’t purchased an album since the 90s and his iPod is basically a 100 song mix tape.
10. Van Morrison - Brown Eyed Girl
9. Garth Brooks - Friends In Low Places
8. Van Halen - Runnin’ With The Devil
7. Boston - More Than A Feeling
6. Anything by Jack Johnson or any other marginally talented acoustic guitar-based singer
5. Lynyrd Skynyrd - Sweet Home Alabama
4. Rick Springfield - Jessie’s Girl
3. Anything by or featuring Lil Wayne
2. Bon Jovi - Livin’ On A Prayer
1. Journey - Don’t Stop Believin’
^if you don’t hear this song at a party, you aren’t at a party.
