Archive for the 'Self' Category
WEEKLY POP CULTURE UPDATE (01.21.09)
THEY INTRIGUE ME
If you are reading this sentence right now and you have not watched Gossip Girl, I wonder how you get out of bed in the morning. This is without a doubt the most compelling show on television. The show stars not only the most intriguing on-screen couple on television right now, but two of the most interesting characters in TV history. In two short seasons, Blair Waldorf, played by the gorgeous Leighton Meester, and Chuck Bass, played by the extremely talented Ed Westwick, have captivated audiences with their immaculate performances. Chuck Bass is one of the most unapologetic and racy characters I’ve ever watched and Blair Waldorf is the little miss perfect compliment to his highly dynamic character. Plus Leighton Meester is one hot piece of A, especially when she’s pisssssed. Watch this show. Start from the beginning.
GRAN TORINO
This movie was so god damn good that people in the Manhattan theater where I saw it clapped after it was over. I haven’t seen people clap after a movie since the Death Star’s demise in the 1997 re-release of A New Hope – and I think most of that room was clapping ironically. The guy next to me was either balling his eyes out or laughing his ass off the entire movie; a little extreme, but an exaggerated example of how incredibly moving this movie actually is. Some asshole will probably complain about the sub-par acting from Clint’s supporting cast, but that does nothing to sully the masterful screenplay, direction, and script that make this one of the best movies I’ve seen in a long long time. 9.75/10
TWILIGHT OPEN CASTING
Are you a Native American teen who looks very “youthful”? No? Then you would be terrible for the open casting call for the newest installment in the Twilight series, New Moon. The movie’s casting director has called for an open casting, inviting anyone and everyone to apply (unless you’re white, black, or Asian … racist assholes).
IPHONE APP OF THE WEEK
ANNOY-A-TEEN
“Have you ever wanted something that would simply drive your teen nuts? Well, here you go!
This app is very simple: it plays a high pitched tone every time you press the button that is very annoying to teens and inaudible to most adults! Now, this is not to say “all” adults cannot hear all of the sounds – those who can have exceptional hearing and have the envy of the author of this program, who can only hear three of the four tones this app makes.
Some businesses around the world play tones like this to drive away rowdy teenagers who scare away business.”
I LOL’d. Please tell me you’re downloading this, iPhone users.
VIDEO OF THE WEEK
NO PANTS HOTT
OLD SCHOOL BAND OF THE WEEK
T.A.T.U.
Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten about Russian “lesbian” duo T.A.T.U. already. You have? That’s a shame. Their 2002 album 200 km in the Wrong Lane is one of the best pop albums of the 21st century. I wrote this entire pop culture update while listening to that album. Stop laughing. “Show Me Love” and “30 Minutes” could easily be my theme music. If I were starring in my own movie about myself, those two songs would play during the intro, outro, and all montages.
SONG OF THE WEEK
One of the best unknown bands of the last 20 years: Self.
You can download the song here or listen below…
“So Low”
THE TOP 10 HIP-HOP SONGS YOU HAVEN’T HEARD
Soulja Boy sucks. He killed hip-hop and unknowingly officially introduced the world to what I like to call “hip-pop.” You know, what 16-year-old, suburbanite soccer players play in their ‘98 Accords with the windows down.
“HEY SCOOTER, MAKE ME ONE OF YOUR TIGHT RAP MIXES.” Do people under 20 even know what a full length album is? Or that music isn’t free to create, therefore shouldn’t be downloaded for free on the internet? That’s a conversation for a rainy day. Moving on…
Luckily, there is still good hip-hop out there being made. And no, I’m not one of those “Nas is the best ever, his lyrics are so deep, OMG Nas…” I really think I know over 3 people who would turn gay for Nas. Just because of those people, he’s not making this list. Since hip-hop has become one of the most impressionable and brain-washing forms of entertainment, I bring you a list of gems that “keep it real”. A keepin’ it real list. Is that still cool to say? Shit, it’s almost 2010, who knows what’s cool anymore.
I tried my damnedest to find 10 songs you haven’t heard. The only exception to that are my close friends, because I’ve probably played them all for you at some point. But, if you don’t know me, I hope you haven’t heard any of these songs. Listen to them. You won’t be disappointed. It’s a mix of rock/hip-hop, raggae rap, old school, new school, white, black, etc…
THE TOP 10 HIP-HOP SONGS
YOU HAVEN’T HEARD:
10. Mickey Avalon
“Waiting To Die”
Mickey Avalon, born Yeshe Perl, is a descedent of Holocaust survivors and before becoming a hip-hop artist in Hollywood, he was a male prostitute in Oregon. That alone should make you want to listen to this song.
“It’s Mickey Avalon, all up in your prom
Pissing in the fruit punch with a baby blue tuxedo on,
The dopest rapper this century,
I sodomized your father in the federal penitentiary”
9. Pomeroy
“Roboflow”
Pomeroy is a rock/rap/fusion band from Manhattan, Kansas. I have been to and partied in Manhattan twice (don’t ask me why). I met a guy there who had heard of them. That’s about all I’ve got. This song is badass though…
“We fat like bacon and butter over Teflon
so slippery when we get it on point like aloisius,
very viscous like omegatron bliss pump this,
through your stereo now, don’t miss the gist”
Listen to this song here.
8. Afroman
“Tall Cans”
This song is infectious. Forget what you know about Afroman. I hate that “Because I got high” song. He has so much better material than that.
“Now these women be actin all bad and rude
Always gotta bad attitude
You see I just wanna dance, why can’t you get the picture
Act like a brother wanna move in wit’cha”
7. Quarashi
“Malone Lives”
Mmm Icelandic rap. Four skinny, pale, white guys who can flow. This song is sweet and the most hip-hip at its core, but honestly the best song of this record is “Baseline“.
“Periodic fake divines, these times as we see ‘em are
packed with cons that can’t wait to see him. The cave the
cathedral, the peasant the pope, the hope of the people is
a prayer for dope”
6. Devin The Dude
“What A Job”
This song has Snoop in it. And Andre 3000. So it’s not like “super undergound” or anything. Devin The Dude is amazing though. Often referred to as “Your Favorite Rapper’s Favorite Rapper“, he’s a great lyricist and has a great sense of humor. OK this is starting to sound like an eHarmony ad.
“He’s standing with his baby momma Kiki and she cryin’ talkin’ bout
That they used to get high to me in high school
And they used to make love to me in college
Then they told me ’bout they first date, listenin’ to my tunes
And how he, like to finger nail polish
I say hate to cut you off but I gotta go
I wish you could tell me mo’ but I’m off to the studio, gotta write tonight
Hey, can you put us in your raps? I don’t see why not
Devin it’s the Dude you gon’ probably hear him talking ’bout”
5. Aesop Rock
“None Shall Pass“
I honestly don’t listen to much Aesop … but this song is exceptional. Some of the most elaborate lyrics you will hear in hip-hop today.
“If you never had a day a snow cone couldn’t fix
you wouldn’t relate to the rogue vocoder blitz
how he spoke through a no-doz motor on the fritz
cause he wouldn’t play roll over fetch like a bitch”
4. E-40
“Sideways”
Old school at its best. E-40 defines the hyphy movement in northern California. This is real hip-hip, the type of shit your grandmother reminisces about. OK maybe that’s a stretch.
“Heavy ass shit for the mob
When I make a zillion I resign
I’m realer than a hundred dollar bill with the line across
When Christmas come around ask Santa Claus,
‘Santa do you know E-40?’
Bet you that ni**a say ‘That’s my homey!’ “
3. Andre Nickatina
“Lost Hawks”
Great beat. Great flow. Great lyrics. Thanks to Robyn from Sac-town for introducing me to this incredible MC.
“I’m so hot, the track meltin’
Please the degrees that I kick his black belt in
Freeze MC’s into a gas, I blows mixed Purp with Hash
Do the math, young Queezy workin’ the map”
2. Beastie Boys
“Professor Booty”
My favorite Beastie Boys song. And that’s saying a lot, ’cause they’re the best rappers of all time. Professor, what’s another word for pirate treasure? Well, I think it’s booty. That’s what it is.
“With your headphones strapped you’re rockin’ rewind pause
Tryin’ to figure out what you can do to go for yours
But like the pencil to the paper I got more to come
One after another you can all get some”
1. Self
“Trunk Fulla Amps”
Self is an independent rock band from Murfreesboro, TN. Matt Mahaffey, the vocalist and brainchild of Self, wrote the Expedia.com jingle as well as songs for the Shrek soundtrack and various other movies and TV shows. This song is his best. I didn’t post any lyrics because the song is just a repeat of … well, you’ll see …
Listen to a clip of the song here. If you want the full version, email me. (stone@thatssofetch.com)
6 comments
